“Over 85% of Women Who Transition to Natural Hair Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Their Lives.”
I came across this statement on Twitter the other day. It was made by a random black man of Trinidadian background. **Please note that I use the term “nappy” freely because I personally do not hold a negative connotation to it. To me, it’s just a way of describing afro-textured hair with little to no curl pattern. (Proudly nappy over here).
Here is my two cents… Black men rock their afro-textured/nappy hair without qualms because, as men, society does not go out of their way to make them feel bad about it. Also, nowadays, when it comes to black men, darker skin is even viewed as more attractive than lighter skin.
When it comes to black women, however, most black men have a preference for light-skinned “exotic-looking” women with wavy or curly hair (a.k.a “good hair) as do non-blacks in general. It goes back to European beauty standards. They may find other black women attractive, but this mixed or exotic-type of female is the ultimate trophy/status piece. When these black men see black women with “nappy” hair rockin’ their natural hair PROUDLY, it makes them uneasy because they see hair that is not so-called “good hair” as unacceptable. They think to themselves, “Why would a woman choose to rock their hair that way?” while praising women with wavy or curly hair who rock their hair naturally.
It’s harsh, it’s sad, but it’s the truth. A kinky or nappy-haired female may choose to wear her hair straight, not because she has self-esteem or self-hatred issues but because she wishes to assimilate into what the rest of today’s society is doing. No blame there. The above-mentioned statement, “Over 85% of Women Who Transition to Natural Hair Are Making the Biggest Mistake of Their Lives” therefore bothers me.
Right away, I know that this man is inferring that only black women with noticeably wavy or curly-textured hair (the 15%) should be rockin’ their hair natural.
Going natural does not mean that men will not be attracted to you. Some naturals notice that they attract a certain type of man (more earthy, artistic, afro-centric), while others, like me, see no change in the type of men they attract but may get noticed more often because they simply stand out more.
Do not let anyone — black, white, or other — deter you from doing what you know is right for you. If you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful (and I mean inside and out). What you choose to do with your hair does not alter that.